Present & Past
Here’s a cool bit of trivia. Which actor appeared in 26 John Wayne movies? I guessed wrong. Answer below.
I noticed a word with which I was unfamiliar on one of the CDs I have for sale. Gitano is Spanish and refers to a male gypsy. It is derived from the word egipciano, which literally means “gypsy”… And I came across another in a book I’m reading, a word I’m surprised I didn’t know, since I spent eight miserable years in Catholic school. Wimple: a cloth headdress covering the head, neck and sides of the face, formerly worn by women and still worn by some nuns.” Apparently, an old dog can learn new tricks. On that note, since nothing in today’s new seems fresh or dubious fun, here’s an excerpt from what is perhaps my most entertaining novel, Present and Past. Freddie and Tony are on a cross-country car trip:
“One time Johnny Califano was at the blackboard. He had to spell ‘equipment,’ which Brooklyn guys like us pronounced ‘aquipment.’ She yelled: “E! E! E! and rammed his face into the slate. He was bleeding from the mouth. Finally he got it and Sister Grace looked heavenward, as if she was talking to God, and said: ‘It’s like pulling teeth!’”
“Whatever happened to that nut?”
“Last time I saw him I was a sophomore in high school, sitting in the stands at Midwood Field with our J.V. team, watching our varsity get slaughtered. His older sister put him in a boarding school after their mom died. The father disappeared into the bottle a long time ago. He was on a class trip.”
“To a high school football game? That’s musta been the cheapest school goin’.”
“Midwood was hot stuff back then, undefeated two years in a row. Brent Kaufman was a great running back, Larry Getto All-City quarterback. I wonder where they are now.”
“Probably cooped up in some office, kissin’ ass.”
“I remember Johnny exposing himself in class a couple of times.”
Both of them laughed.
“He had balls, not like you,” said Tony. “What’d the girls do?”
“I was too busy trying not to laugh out loud to notice. Check this out — in eighth grade one day they held us after school for ‘The Talk.’” Freddie described quotation marks with his fingers.
“Sex?” said Tony, eager.
Freddie nodded. “Johnny was in the first seat in the first row. Poor Father De Santis — when he said: ‘Rub your penis’ — Johnny slapped at his desk top, looked at the rest of us and said: ‘Rub your penis!’ And we all lost it.”
“I love it! What’d the priest do?”
“He turned red with anger and, after a few more outbursts, told us to see him the next day at the rectory. Sweet-natured soul that he was, he was over the embarrassment by then and dismissed us immediately. He knew we were just goofy, immature kids.”
“I don’t remember him. Then again, I stopped going to church right after Confirmation.”
“One time Sister Grace was drilling us on something and Jimmy Sapporito made a mistake. She whacked him with her pointer and he let out this ‘Owwwww!’ and rubbed his shoulder. The whole class froze. Nobody’d ever done anything like that. We didn’t dare laugh for fear of getting the same treatment.”
“I remember ‘Sappy’ — good kid. He lived around the block. We started smokin’ together in the schoolyard. He liked this one brand, sayin’: ‘They got mint in ‘em.’”
Freddie’s head flew back in delight. “I love it!”
Photo from Google Images:
I guessed Ward Bond. There are 388 titles beneath Paul Fix’s name at IMDb, including his roles opposite the legendary Duke, and that figure doesn’t include his 151 appearances on The Rifleman. His career spanned 1925-’81. Here are just five of his big screen appearances: Red River (1948), Giant (1956), To Kill a Mockingbird (1962), El Dorado (1966), Pat Garrett & Billy the Kid (1973). On TV he did guest shots in one episode of The Abbott & Costello Show, two of Adventures of Superman, one of The Twilight Zone, one of Star Trek, and a ton of other popular shows. He was married 50 years until the passing of his beloved in 1979. He was a father of one. He passed away at 82 in 1983. Photo from GI:
No luck selling stuff curbside today, as I bailed 45 minutes early — too soon — when sprinkles began. It’s been dry since. My thanks to my Constant Benefactress, who donated two hardcovers.
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