Quotable
I didn’t watch the Golden Globes. I don’t watch any awards show. Kyle Smith devoted his op-ed piece at nypost.com to the host, British actor/comic Ricky Gervais, who skewered Hollywood royalty at the event. Only politicians are more deserving. Here are quotes:
“Let’s have a laugh — at your expense.”
He mentioned arriving in a limo and said “Felicity Huffman made the license plate.”
“… all have one thing in common — they’re all terrified of Ronan Farrow. He’s coming for you.”
Plugging his own Netflix show AfterLife, Gervais noted that he plays a guy who considers killing himself but “in the end, he didn’t kill himself. Just like Jeffrey Epstein.” Pause, then: “Sorry, I know he’s your friend.”
As Reese Witherspoon and Jennifer Aniston, who now work for Apple, took the stage, he said: “a company who runs sweatshops in China. You say you’re ‘woke’ … If ISIS started a streaming service you’d call your agent.”
He said he rejected the idea of doing a death reel because “When I saw the list of people who died, it wasn’t diverse enough. It was mostly white people and I thought, no, not on my watch.”
“You’re in no position to lecture the public about anything. You know nothing about the real world. Most of you’ve spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg … So if you win, come up, accept your little award, thank your agent and your god and f–k off. Okay?”
Kudos, sir.
Here are memorable quotes from Oscar hosts:
“I’m here at the Oscars, otherwise known as the White People’s Choice Awards.” — Chris Rock 2016
“Meryl has been nominated for an Oscar a total of 18 times. It sounds good, but if you do the math, between dresses, hair and make-up, that’s hundreds of thousands of dollars. Simply put, Meryl cannot afford to be nominated again” — Ellen DeGeneres 2014
Away From Her was about a woman who forgets her husband. Hillary Clinton called it the feel-good movie of the year.” — Jon Stewart 2008
“Nothing can take the sting out of economic problems like watching millionaires collecting gold statues.” — Billy Crystal 2012
“Not only wasn’t I nominated — on Hollywood Boulevard they just put a manhole cover over my star.” — Bob Hope 1962.
In 1974 Streaking — parading around naked — was in vogue. A guy did it at the Academy Awards and had the bad luck of doing it while David Niven was at the mic. The suave Brit calmly quipped: “”Isn’t it fascinating to think that the only laugh that that man will ever get in his life is by stripping off and showing his shortcomings.”
“I see a lot of new faces here, especially on the old faces.” — Johnny Carson 1979
The lack of parking at my usual nook sent me to an alternate site, where I got lucky. My thanks to the woman who bought two large paperback novels, The Kitchen House by Kathleen Grissom and Broken Harbor by Tana French; and to the woman who selected a book in Russian; and to the gentleman who chose non-fiction on handling divorce; and to the woman who overcompensated me for a huge Random House College Dictionary.
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